So I went to a party with my best friend last night; she invited me to it as it was thown by her group in uni. It was very awkward and quite scary at first and I didn’t feel comfortable at all, and it was my first time at a party like that… It was held in like a country seat, out town, near a lake, and it had a sauna in it. Not too spacious but it was enough. There was a lot of alcohol and loud music and later quite a lot of people, I mostly helped with food and yeah I did drink. Did not get drunk although I did get quite nauseous, but eh it could have been worse. I danced too.. To be honest.. It was the most free I’ve ever felt. The most relaxed in I don’t know how much time. It’s like a dark cloud has been cast away from me; the fog constantly surrounding my head was gone. I was just genuinely, really enjoying myself - letting myself to do it for the first time. It’s a giant breakthrough with depression.
It was hard to sleep because others were very loud and at one point I started feeling very bad and lonely, but it was okay after I slept a bit. We left quite early in the morning, I went back to my best friend’s and we went out to the town to check out the annual fair. We also met another friend of ours, an old classmate of mine (I’ve not seen her in ages), and we walked around a lot, for a few hours. I bought quite some things and it was just lovely. I love that fair; it actually always brightens up my mood.
I’m completely worn out now but I had fun. For the first time in so long.
The existential dilemma when you want both tea and ice cream.